The toughest fight you will ever have...

...is trying to get an orgasm during the first trimester of your pregnancy.

(Now I know my mother will one day read this...but momma I'm married, so technically all is righteous in the eyes of the Lord! Amen!)

So anyway, of all the changes that happen to your body during the first trimester of your pregnancy, the biggest victim by far is your libido and your poor husband (by default). Every woman's body is different so I don't want to speak for all women, but I certainly didn't want anything to do with no penis, no balls, or no more sperm during my first weeks of pregnancy. Yet, because my husband only sees glowing skin and bigger breasts, he was always ready for action like everything was business as usual. I was able to escape my first few weeks of pregnancy without having sex but then my husband began to look so pitiful that I made up my mind that I was going to rock his world one day when he got home from work.

As soon as he walked through the door I said, "Come on PACO...let's have sex!" and my poor battered husband sheepishly said "You don't mean it!" and just turned and walked into the kitchen.

So I dug deep and channeled that 18-year old sex kitten that was deep inside me and went into the kitchen, gave him a look, and pulled him straight into our bedroom.

(Details omitted!)

After lots of steaminess, and after my husband was fast asleep, I snuck into the bathroom and found "Bono" because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fall asleep until I try to find my elusive orgasm. After initiating sex, I realized how much I missed the BIG "O" and was truly determined to find it again before the night was over.

Thirty-five minutes later, I was sweating and out of breath and the BIG "O" had not come to visit me yet. I tried to meditate. I even tried to pray. But after burning close to 600 calories and talking to Jesus, God, and Mary Magdelene it still didn't come.

I sadly went back to the bedroom, where my husband was snoring away. I slipped in the bed next to him and kissed him on his nose and counted approximately 346 sheep until I fell asleep.