How do you say, "Hello, I'm knocked up!"

The Preggo Woman's Bible, "What To Expect When You're Expecting" recommends not telling anyone outside of your husband and a few family members that you are pregnant until after you have reached your second trimester. Initially this seemed doable but after two days of keeping the news to ourselves, I started to feel extremely guilty keeping such a HUGE event from my family and closest friends.

So one by one we began to make the calls...

First, we confirmed the pregnancy to my sister whose first words were "I'm going to start praying for this child now."

Next, we told my mother who I made promise not to tell anyone in her Red Hat Retirement Club, Prayer Circle, or even my daddy until I was ready.

Then came my brother...who asked was it a reptilian or hermaphrodite that was growing inside of me.

We finally told my father...who pretended to pass out when I told him. When he woke up he started to write down potential birth dates for him to play in the lottery.

After that came my mother in-law...who told me not to worry about anything but to give the baby to God and trust that God would take care of the rest.

Next came my father in-law...who said he'd been dreaming of fishing recently so he wasn't surprised.

And finally we told my sisters in-law...who prepped Pat on the weight gain and mood swings that were sure to come.

When it came to telling friends I proceeded with a bit more caution. I decided that I'd only call friends who been there to pray with me and for me because Lord knows that I didn't know where to begin to figure out how to become a mother.