Back in Jesus Bootcamp/ Jesus take the wheel (part three)

...Simultaneously, me and this guy who looked like he'd just shot somebody stepped into the aisle to walk forward.

"Dag, that brother looks like he just robbed a liquor store before coming into church Jesus...Maybe you were really just talking to him?" I thought to myself as I continued to move forward with excitement, relief, and anxiety.

Once we were escorted downstairs, I looked for the "Unsaved" and "Saved with Issues" sections of the room but found neither. To my surprise we all sat in one group and we were asked why we came forth.

"I came forth, cause I'm tired in living in dees streets," said the gangsta.

"I came forth cause I am tired of feeling alone," said another girl.

"I grew up in church but sometimes you just need to be reminded of who God is," I proclaimed to the group in part to let everyone know that I knew the Lord.

Unfortunately, it seemed that no one was buying it. I spent much of my one on one session trying to explain to the minister that I was really saved but she kept responding with "oh, I used to say I was saved too."

"Do you want to get baptized again?"

You can't say no to getting baptized, I thought. "Well, I has baptized when I was 16, so I think I'm okay."

'Hunny, I was baptized three times so I'm going to put you down as a yes!"

I couldn't figure out why they gave the option for people to recommit their lives if they wouldn't believe them. By the end of the night, I was signed up to be baptized again and pre-enrolled in "New Membership" classes although I had been a member of the church for 25 years.

Somehow, the night didn't turn out the way that I envisioned when I walked down the aisle. I wanted to say, "...Listen, I really do love Jesus," but it felt like no one would believe me. While I didn't want to lose the great feeling that I had that night, I did begin to ponder what about me spoke "heathen" so loudly that no one would believe I could possibly know Jesus.

The truth is that I take my relationship with God very seriously and this experience - both, inspiring and revealing - me made begin to reflect on whether I was really living the life of a Christian, or just wearing a figurative "Jesus Peace" like I was a rapper at the Grammy's...